Daniel Kurtzman is a political journalist turned satirist. He has been widely cited as a political humor expert and authored two books on the subject.
Updated on 01/13/20There's so much fear-mongering associated with this hot-button national issue, that sometimes you just need to try and laugh about gun control. Until there's another mass shooting, of course. That's not funny at all.
The shoe bomber didn't own any congressional officeholders, though. (And the year 2018 saw at least 25 mass shootings alone.)
But that's just so much more expensive and time-consuming.
If you don't have the body parts, you need to shut up about them.
And a three-day cooling off period!
Not with all that love and forgive your neighbor and lepers and enemies and stuff.
I resent that lobbyist remark!
If Obama would have come out in favor of oxygen, Republicans would have suffocated themselves.
That's the answer to everything, right NRA?
They're probably weaponized.
Oh right, that's different than civil rights.
Right to privacy, that's in the Constitution somewhere, right? Close enough?
Guerilla marketing tactics.
His friend, even. Don't become his enemy.
Somehow I don't think it's the police.
But health care is a lot more expensive than guns.
Things that make you go hmmmm.
We could go on, but then it would be a long list.
So just go play Fortnite and let the rest of us live in reality where we need health care after we get shot by some loony.
Triggers kill people. Wait, that's not how it goes.
Oh right, campaign contributions.
No, it's to take out a whole flock of geese in less than 60 seconds, right?
And blow. At the same time. Neat trick.
But then would we have to rename the airport?
Jumpin' Gee-willikers, Batman! I need my misinformation campaign!
And my truck muffler is really, really loud, too.
Because throwing bullets into crowds is so much less effective.
Logic, not always a strong suit.
Hunger strikes don't really work here, though. We really like a good burger.
Oh, it's so clear now.
But just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean that Obama wasn't out to take all my guns.
"Buckshot is hard to control, that's true."
Oh that's just crazy talk!
You're confusing me with your logic.
At least one of those was settled.
We'll wait while you go and look up sensible.
And people actually went along with this?
Unfortunately, they're all on Eniac punched cards.
Somebody cue the Church Lady.
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